Wednesday 7 September 2016

Telling people what to do VS Showing them what worked for you!!

Instead of telling people what to do, show people what worked for you, and encourage them to discover what works for them.

When folks are told exactly what to do, they start it and then give up somewhere along the path, they struggle, and then get worn-out and frustrated. I guess you have experienced this sometime in your life once, or maybe several times? I’m speaking from personal experience here dear readers. That approach seldom ever works, as a result, it breeds discouragement, frustration and discontent. There are loads of things this process brings with it that makes it a misdemeanour to make prescriptions for people. It doesn’t always usually work.

One thing I know that works is this; show people what works for you, and lay down the principles of how you followed a particular regime or system. The difference between telling people what to do and showing them what works for you as well as encouraging them to develop their own style is elaborated here:

Tell them what to do

Now while the former works well at the start of the regime, the initial rush of adrenaline when motivated, quickly dwindles, as a result, the enthusiasm fades out and before you know it, the process is adjourned and eventually “dies a natural death.” Why? Because the recipients did not digest the concept well enough to create a platform of a disciplined, committed and consistent application. The message to take action, maybe more focused on the emotion from being inspired, rather than educating the recipient on the reason to take a particular action.  In other words, they may not have resonated and/or connected with the process of change. Hence, they get the message as we all do and start to grow; however, they do not have enough time to establish and build strength–no durable roots needed to withstand the coming storms. Consequently, when it gets really hard, they grow tired and weary, frustrated, bitter and angry.  All these negativity eventually brings about toxicity and then finally, kills their spirit. The initial drive is ultimately squashed and then replaced with doubt, worry and finally procrastination. 

Show them what worked for you

One the other hand, showing them what worked for you, gives people the opportunity to develop their own style and brand, it show-cases the main principles of your model and eventually these principles reproduce positive results–In essence, the recipients eventually:

See what works
The recipients see that it works whilst still underscoring the principles. They go away and develop and formulate their regime, why? Because they've been given the liberty and autonomy to generate what's unique to them–they are happy to establish their brand, which is their own system. This will take a lot of thinking, but it will surely come to fruition with repetition and consistent action. 

Take action
The thing is, people that spend time to do an important task always, get to stick with it whenever the going gets tough. They have taken their time to formulate their own system.

Grow
They've been able to grow “stem” strong and established durable “roots”, to drive deep and grow rich from the inside. Hence when the storm, the wave, the typhoon, the tornadoes and hurricane turn-up descending like an avalanche, they can withstand them all and remain firm and unmoved. 

Persevere
When the going gets rough and they feel like giving up, they just keep going and pushing because they've got the principles, it's theirs, they formed it and gave birth to it. The truth is doing something that resonates with them gives them greater success in establishment than doing something because someone said they should do it.

Develop
People need to be given the opportunity to develop their natural abilities, talents and skill as well as have the autonomy to execute and make it theirs.  It is at this point that they can truly grow and develop, because there is a reason to do it now in the first place. That's the reason they step out of their current comfort zone and get comfortable with the unknown and with the uncertainties–this only happens, if they are to live with purpose, drive, energy and passion. It then develops into a lifestyle formulated by the sweat of  their trials and pure grit.

Become established
Folks will sometimes give up and sometimes continue when they are told what to, but folks that are shown what could be achieved and thought the principles, almost never give up. They follow through and fight for everything, because they were given the autonomy to nurture and grow their seeds of greatness. They establish their own ethos and style–they become grounded, because of their new philosophy in discipline, commitment, consistence and diligence.


The bottom still exists; teach principles and give people the opportunity to develop their own expertise rather than tell them exactly what to dowe are all different people and have different abilities on making things work. As they develop the expertise and credibility on a particular niche, they are certain to discover other ways to do it even better and faster; eventually getting better results in a shorter time frame. We all come from one vine, but we are different branches, which grow out from the same source. So, in as much as we have similar features, our talents and abilities are unique to our genetic make-up–Now, that is undisputed as well as incomprehensible, but in the end, that's what makes the world the best place to thrive; for no one has the same structure when it comes to abilities and talents. Therefore, “Live-Real” and “Free” but with “Purpose”....Because in the end, that’s what counts–Do what works for you!!

Monday 20 June 2016

The Active Power of Gratitude

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

The transformative power of gratitude cannot be underestimated, it can be likened to the blossoming of a desert  crocus just after rainfall. Gratitude creates a platform to express love unconsciously and yet effectively; this expression bears the mark of the greatest form of appreciation. It generates a two edged effect of sweetness and healing to the soul.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

That’s why practising gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for: colourful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

§  Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.

§  Make a gratitude collection by drawing or pasting pictures. A therapy in a way as you spend time with the picture you are developing, pasting them gives a sigh of fulfilment and satisfaction

§  Make up your mind once you wake up to say thank you; appreciate the life you have, from your first breath at dawn until you take your last conscious breath before drifting to dreamland.

§  Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine. This has to be conscious and consistent for continuity.

§  Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation; this is a proactive way of living a life of gratitude.


§  When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel. 
      

Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, and express thanks for gratitude. Let gratitude be a lifestyle rather than a routine that later becomes monotonous and then gradually fades out.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfilment is gratitude at work. Spend time exploring ways you can express gratitude in its different forms, enjoy and celebrate the fulfilment it brings. Above all, let it be expressed plainly and without reservation.

What are your thoughts on gratitude? What will you like to share? Let's hear your perspective.